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Break the “shame, shame, boomerang” cycle by celebrating the catch

Break the "shame, shame, boomerang" cycle by celebrating the catch

There’s no question about it:

Identifying thoughts or behaviors that are different from how we want to show up is hard work.

It’s easy to fall into a shame spiral and self-flagellate.

Even worse, we may fall into what I call “shame, shame, boomerang.”

We correctly catch the shame spiral we’re about to slip into.

But then, we shame ourselves for shaming in the first place.

The shame bounces between those two tight walls (like a game of Ping-Pong).

It’s a painful cycle to break.

The mantra I hold on to in response is simple and powerful: Celebrate the catch.

If we catch ourselves behaving in a way that is different from how we want to show up:

We should celebrate the moment.

After all, that’s the moment you get to make a choice.

Every time you catch yourself saying, “I’m not good enough,” I want you to say, “Oh, I caught it!”

By calling it out, you’re building a muscle of awareness.

And that will set you up to catch these moments sooner in the future.

The more you practice, the more quickly you’ll be able to make the catch.

And that means you’ll shorten the window of time available to employ destructive behavior.

So, the next time you make a catch, don’t get stuck in shame, shame, boomerang.

Making the catch in the first place deserves a pat on the back.

 


 

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