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Free Yourself from “Imagiphants” by Asking Yourself These 4 Questions

imaginary elephants in the room

Pretend someone sends you a request by email, but they don’t say “please” or “thank you.”

All they say is, “Hey, can you do this?”

How do you feel about that?

If you’re like some people, the story you may tell yourself is that they’re rude, or they’re angry with you.

You may not consider their email may have been written at a rushed moment.

Or that maybe they were writing with consideration for your efficiency.

Instead, you get upset by the abrupt tone and hold on to that frustration.

Well, guess what? We might have an imagiphant in the room.

What is an Imagiphant?

The act of holding frustration without an effort to clarify summons what I call “the Imagiphant.”

Imagiphants are born from stories you’ve told yourself and assumptions you’ve made.

To correctly identify an Imagiphant, listen for phrases like:

“No, I know that’s what they meant.”

“Oh, that’s just who they are.”

“They will never be open to that.”

If there’s an Imagiphant in your presence, you aren’t helpless.

You can start to free yourself by asking four questions:

  1. What do I know to be true?
  2. What role am I playing in this?
  3. What assumptions am I holding?
  4. What makes sense to the other person?

These questions will help you release your assumptions and consider other perspectives.

Ultimately, it will help you let go of the frustration your Imagiphant caused.


Looking for more ways to help you identify other types of elephants-in-the-room? Pick up your copy of Don’t Feed the Elephants! on Amazon today.

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