By Dr. Teresa Peterson
If you’re like most technically sharp leaders, you’ve invested serious time learning how to give tough feedback. You’ve read the books, sat through the trainings, maybe even practiced in front of a mirror. But in a world where everything can change overnight, your leadership edge isn’t just about giving feedback—it’s about how well you can receive it, especially when it stings.
The Problem with Silence
Let’s be real: No one loves hearing that something they’ve done isn’t working. But when you shut down or snap back, the message you send your team is loud and clear: “Keep that to yourself next time.” And so, they do. Which means you lose access to critical insights—the ones that could help you prevent a mess before it becomes a crisis.
In Forbes, Gibby (2022) shares, “When companies listen to their employees, they receive insight into what’s happening on the ground. This interactional communication can help prevent micromanagement, miscommunication and disillusionment. As a result, leadership is better able to problem solve, support staff, and make more effective business decisions.”
From the Field
At Innovative MedTech, a product manager we’ll call Renee was leading a high-stakes launch. A junior team member tried to raise a red flag about a potential issue. Renee, eyes on the deadline, brushed it off. But as more issues cropped up, she realized she needed to hear everything—good, bad, and ugly. She ran an open feedback session and made it clear she wasn’t just checking a box—she really wanted to hear the hard stuff. That same team member spoke up again and others did the same. The flaw was caught and fixed. Crisis averted.
Moral of the story? Your team knows things. But they’ll only tell you if they trust you can take it.
Why This Matters Right Now
- Change is constant. And messy. If your team doesn’t feel safe sharing what isn’t going well, you are at a huge disadvantage.
- Trust builds momentum. When people see you handle tough feedback and stay emotionally regulated, they’re more likely to bring you what you need to hear—not just what they think you want to hear. The difference means everything.
- Emotional intelligence is essential. The best leaders today aren’t the loudest, the most technically skilled, or the most credentialed. They’re the ones who can hear a hard truth and say, “I’m listening. Tell me more.”
Build the Muscle of Receiving Feedback
- Interrupt your instinct. That spike of defensiveness? Totally normal. Try taking a slow breath to interrupt your brain’s fight-or-flight response so you don’t react on autopilot.
- Embrace a growth lens. Every piece of feedback is data. Not a threat, but a clue. What can we learn from what we are hearing?
- Close the loop. Don’t just nod and move on. Let people know what you’re doing with their input—even if it means scheduling time to revisit it.
- Be curious. If someone says, “I’m worried about this direction,” don’t dismiss it. Ask: “Can you say more about what’s on your mind? Help me see this through your eyes.”
- Make feedback routine. Start team meetings with a standing invite to challenge your thinking. Normalize the discomfort. Share how you continue to evolve with the feedback you receive. Publicly express gratitude to those who share.
- Phone a friend. Sometimes, a peer debrief is what you need to make sense of tough input. Just don’t let it stop there—act on what you learn.
In a climate of constant change (hello, J-Curve), your ability to receive feedback well is more than a soft skill—it’s a survival skill. The leaders who thrive aren’t the ones who avoid discomfort. They’re the ones who invite it in, learn from it, and move forward with clarity and courage.
Your team’s toughest truths might be your greatest untapped advantage.
Dr. Teresa Peterson
Dr. Teresa Peterson is the Director of Learning and Development for Sarah Noll Wilson, Inc. In her daily work, she serves as Sarah’s key content collaborator. Teresa enjoys facilitating, researching, and is passionate about applying best practices for learning to make our experiences meaningful, engaging, and accessible for all types of learners. Teresa holds a Doctorate in Education from the University of Northern Iowa and brings over twenty years of experience teaching, facilitating, and leading to our team. Our clients love Teresa’s grounded energy, depth of thought, and ability to listen deeply.