Leadership often comes with this unspoken—and I would argue outdated—expectation:
To always project confidence, competence, and control. Many managers believe that revealing their mistakes or showing their areas for growth will undermine their authority, erode their team’s confidence, or even jeopardize their credibility. I regularly see these concerns in the leaders I serve and the fear of being vulnerable with both their team members and their peers fosters a culture of perfectionism, where admitting to missteps feels risky and uncomfortable.
Why does this happen? Why do managers feel the need to project perfection over humanity? Common reasons managers hesitate to share their mistakes include:
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Fear of Losing Authority:
Leaders worry that acknowledging errors will make them seem less capable and perhaps less likely for promotion.
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Perfectionism Culture:
Organizations that equate mistakes with failure discourage openness and, in some cases, punish vulnerability.
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Personal Discomfort:
Sharing personal shortcomings can feel emotionally exposing, especially in competitive environments.
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Unrealistic Expectations:
Many believe leaders should have all the answers, creating pressure to appear infallible.
However, the paradox is clear:
The very act of hiding mistakes can hinder performance, stifle innovation, and weaken team trust. Embracing vulnerability, on the other hand, can be a powerful leadership tool.
As Lacker notes in Forbes, “It’s a universal truth that everyone makes errors, and leaders are no exception. Take the initiative to openly discuss your missteps, the causes behind them, and most importantly, the valuable lessons you’ve gleaned from those experiences.”
As a manager, the benefits of engaging in vulnerable conversations centered on your own performance are profound—here are just a few:
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Builds Trust:
Teams respect leaders who are authentic and relatable.
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Encourages Learning:
Normalizing mistakes fosters a growth mindset, where failures are seen as opportunities to improve.
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Strengthens Team Cohesion:
When leaders model vulnerability, it creates psychological safety, encouraging others to share openly.
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Boosts Innovation:
A culture that tolerates mistakes allows for experimentation and creative problem-solving.
Ready to start cultivating a greater sense of collaboration and innovation with your team?
Try these strategies to boost both vulnerability and better performance:
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Lead by Example:
Start meetings with reflections on recent lessons learned, including your own mistakes.
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Normalize Feedback:
Regularly seek input from your team, showing that growth is continuous, even at the top. Share the progress you’re making from the feedback you received as well.
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Frame Mistakes as Learning Opportunities:
Share not just the error but the insights gained, emphasizing personal and organizational growth.
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Create Safe Spaces:
Foster an environment where honesty is valued over perfection.
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engaging in high quality conversations:
Promote dialogue that encourages openness with a focus on listening to learn.
By embracing and leveraging vulnerability, managers can unlock higher levels of performance, trust, and resilience within their teams. Let your team and your peers see you struggle and grow because authenticity, not perfection or the illusion of perfection, is the foundation of effective leadership.
Citation: How vulnerability, empathy, and authenticity reshape modern leadership
Sarah Noll Wilson is on a mission to help leaders build and rebuild teams. She aims to empower leaders to understand and honor the beautiful complexity of the humans they serve. Through her work as an Executive Coach, an in-demand Keynote Speaker, Researcher, Contributor to Harvard Business Review, and Bestselling Author of “Don’t Feed the Elephants”, Sarah helps leaders close the gap between what they intend to do and the actual impact they make. She hosts the podcast “Conversations on Conversations”, is certified in Co-Active Coaching and Conversational Intelligence, and is a frequent guest lecturer at universities. In addition to her work with organizations, Sarah is a passionate advocate for mental health.