Join Sarah Noll Wilson and guest Glo Rose as they explore the topics of emotional awareness and intelligence for children, and Glo shares her passion and some of the insights she has gained as an author of many books for children and teens.
Glo Rose started writing to create stories for her children that showed them that her love is always with them. She wanted them to know they are not alone, no matter what they face, and that the lessons life teaches them may be challenging, but are worth experiencing to get stronger and wiser. As her writing developed, Glo wanted her books to help all children understand and be proud of their unique selves. The content grew into assisting children to recognize their emotions, understand that whatever they feel is valid, and explore safe ways to express their feelings to family or social media. Glo Rose Books has developed into a brand about helping children to understand themselves better while navigating this ever-changing world.
TRANSCRIPT
Sarah Noll Wilson
Hello and welcome to this week’s episode of Conversations on Conversations where each week we explore a topic to help us have more powerful conversations with ourselves and each other. I’m your host, Sarah Noll Wilson. And joining me today is a super special guest. And I can’t wait to talk about how we met. But joining me today is the brilliant Glo Rose. And we’re going to be talking about the work that she does in educating young people and children about emotional awareness, self awareness, all of this we’re going to be digging into today. So first, let me tell you a little bit about Glo before we get into it. So Glo Rose started writing to create stories for her children that showed them that her love is always with them. She wanted them to know that they’re not alone, no matter what they face, and that the lessons life teaches them may be challenging, but are worth experiencing to get stronger and wiser. As her writing developed Glo wanted her books to help all children understand and be proud of their unique selves. The content grew into assisting children to recognize their emotions, understand that whatever they feel is valid and explore safe ways to express their feelings to family or social media. Glo Rose Books has developed into a brand about helping children to understand themselves better while navigating this ever changing world. Welcome to the show Glo.
Glo Rose
Thank you, Sarah. Thank you.
Sarah Noll Wilson
What, okay, so what else should we know about you?
Glo Rose
So about me, I’ve been writing my entire life. And when I say my entire life, I mean, we would go on vacations, and we had to stop at CVS or Dollar Tree to buy me a journal to write in. I tell you, my family knew we could not leave the city (laughs) without a journal and a new pencil to write. So I’ve been writing since I was very, very, very, very young. Sometimes it is about me, sometimes it’s about the word I see. Sometimes it’s a letter to my children, or just a letter to the world. Because keeping that bottled up is so destructive to our minds, to our feelings, even us physically. So I’m very much write it down, get it out. And even if you never show anyone else what it says, it’s not holding up space in your brain and in your heart.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. I was just going to ask what is it about writing, you know, because that’s something that I, it’s, it’s a muscle I want to build. And one of the challenges I have, not that this isn’t going to be a show about writing techniques, but my brain moves so much faster than my finger can (laughs) writing it. But I know the value of journaling. What, what have you learned from starting to express your emotions, your feelings, your observations, your experiences, in this way to now. What, you know what’s become clear to you on your own journey?
Glo Rose
What is definitely clear, is that I have a lot going on up here. (laughs)
Sarah Noll Wilson
Oh man, and for people who are listening, she’s pointing to her head. And so like, yeah, oh man.
Glo Rose
A lot is going on up there. But I’ve came to realize it’s not just me, a lot of times we forget that a lot of people build a lot in their minds about what’s their stressors, their work, their personal lives, maybe children, bills, you know, debts, there’s a lot we’re all facing everyday. Writing releases it, it’s a release. Because if we’re not just sitting, if we sit there we bottle it up, we hold it in, it becomes our nightmares, our dreams, our stressors that we’re not even recognizing we’re feeling. And so it’s so important to even if you just take it to a pencil paper and just write a list of what’s on your mind currently.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
You feel immensely weightless once the list is on paper and no longer just sitting there. It’s gonna come back. Sure, it will come back.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s a –
Glo Rose
But it gives you a moment of clarity. A moment to look at it and say, oh, okay, I can start. I have a start place now.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, my colleague, my colleague, Dr. Teresa Peterson, she has a, (laughs) she has a phrase that we’ve adopted and clients are always real confused. But she says, got to get the fruit out of the jello. Like, what do I need to do to get the fruit out of the jello? And she’s referring to like, what’s on your brain that doesn’t need to be on your brain? What, what are you thinking about? What are you worried about? What are you trying to remember that you don’t need to. It’s like, get the fruit out of the jello. So as you were talking, you feel lighter. It’s like yeah, because the fruit’s out of the jello, but like, I should probably explain that before I say that. And I love that idea of just like whatever. Like what, what is on my mind right now.
Glo Rose
I have to take that down. Take the fruit out of the jello. I like that. I’m going to have to pass that along.
Sarah Noll Wilson
But I’ll tell you people get real confused when you are like, Okay, wait, hold on. I gotta get the fruit out of the jello and they are like, what the hell are you talking about? And like, I still don’t know if it totally resonates for folks, but it works for us, because she’ll be like, Hey, let’s get that fruit out of the jello. I’m like, I’m scooping out the pineapple now. For people, for people who are listening (laughs) I want to share how we connected. So, because you’re based in Des Moines. Well, I actually don’t know you are based in Des Moines?
Glo Rose
I am based in Des Moines. Yes.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. I was at a flea market at the Iowa State Fairgrounds and walking around with two of my friends and you know, this was like quintessential Iowa flea market of, I don’t, we kind of were playing flea market bingo, to be honest, when we were walking around like, we were like, what the really historically insensitive item that somebody’s? What’s the doll that has weird eyes or whatever?
Glo Rose
Oh, yes.
Sarah Noll Wilson
And lots of candles and moisturizers. And then I walked past your booth. And here are these beautifully illustrated children’s books. And I don’t recall the titles of them. But it struck me that as soon as I saw it, one, I mean, it’s Iowa. So it was a lot of white faces in there. And it’s – I just I don’t know how to say this other than, and like a lot of what I would describe maybe as more conservative or, right?
Glo Rose
Yes, absolutely.
Sarah Noll Wilson
So, so you having this booth of, How do we get, how do we connect with ourselves? How do we honor our emotions? Not just for who we are, but how do we navigate and think about our identities, our racial identities, our gender identities, it gave me pause of like, what are you doing here? It was such a beautiful moment. So I knew that I wanted to have you on the show, because I want to do whatever I can to amplify your work, because I think your message is so important. So
Glo Rose
Thank you.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Thanks for saying yes to this random person who was like, Hey, I have this podcast, and I think your message should be heard.
Glo Rose
Thank you for having me on the show. I really appreciate it. And this is a message that we all need everywhere. Our emotions are becoming bigger and bigger and bigger every day. And we cannot pretend like they are manageable anymore. We need help to deal with them.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. I appreciate that. Because it can be really easy for folks who are listening, who maybe don’t have children, or maybe if they did have children, or do have children, excuse me, if they do have children, and they’re older, they might go okay, I’m gonna tune out. But the reality is, we all walk around with emotions, we all – and you know, we know over the last couple of years, that resiliency is sort of an all time low with most people. Because of everything that we went through all the trauma we went through and continue to go through for lots of different reasons. So take me back to, so to present day. You’ve built this brand, you’re getting this message out, go back to the beginning, and what was your journey here?
Glo Rose
So I can remember the night, the exact night I wrote the very first book, which is Good Night My Blessing. And it’s a bit of a funny story. My eldest child at the time was mad at me, he wanted ice cream for dinner. And I said no. And an extreme moment, he says, You don’t love me. Now, to all the moms out there who are listening, that’s kind of like Ouch, okay, yes, I do love you. But you still need to have a healthy dinner. (chuckles) So that night, I had thought about him saying that, and I thought he needs to know that I love them all the time. Even if I tell you no to the ice cream, or I have to help you with your homework when you’re struggling. Or when something in life is a struggle for you. I need you to know I’m there, I have your back. And it’s always out of love. So I wrote Good Night My Blessing. Shortly after that ended up traveling to Texas and my family – I was thinking about different cultures and different people that come from dynamics that come from all over the world to make up America. Let’s face it, all of us will say from Ireland, my husband’s from Ireland. I’m from Nigeria, my children have that combination. Some from Canada. Some from Mexico. So I’m from India, all over the world. And I was thinking of flags. And so I wrote the Flag In Me, which talks about being brave, persevering, and having hope with the red, white and blue of our flag. And so from there, it just exploded into emotional journals, activity books for younger children and emotional development and understanding oneself. And I’m just this is a passion for me. I can, I will do this probably for the rest of my life. If I’m honest with you.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Love that idea. And stay more, I’m curious, say more about the content of the book, The Flag In Me because once you said that, that was the book that caught my eye.
Glo Rose
Yes, I remembered.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, I was like what, you know, just say more about what, what do you hope? What’s the message of that? And what do you hope that anyone who reads that book gets from it?
Glo Rose
So the flag is in every single classroom that our children go into, from elementary school to high school, maybe even into college? And I know there’s a lot of messages out there about it. I know there’s there’s all this media, there’s all these news about it. But I just wanted our kids to see when I look up at this flag in the morning. Do I want to be brave today? Do I want to persevere today? Or do I want to have hope today? Because those are the three biggest things our kids need when they’re learning new things at school, dealing with a bully, maybe trying to make a friend or just maybe struggling at home, they need to feel something that helps them, that pushes them to continue to try, continue to continue to reach. And so why not be brave when you maybe have to face a bully or learn a new subject that you struggle with? Persevere through that subject that you’re trying to get through. Or maybe dealing with something, struggling at home, and just have hope that every single day can be better than the one before it. Or just a good day period. Let’s give our kids that.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. What, you know, what has surprised you on this path as you – maybe the question I want to ask is either what has surprised you? Or what are moments where you’ve paused and went, oh I hadn’t considered that. Like, I like, I need to chew on that a little bit more as I think about reaching this audience that I’m trying to reach?
Glo Rose
There’s been at least two surprises that I can definitely recall. One was a young girl had come by and seen the self identity journal called I Don’t, I Don’t Look How I Feel.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
And she happened to look at it and just flip the pages. She was very, very into looking at this book very much. And when I looked, I happen to, I didn’t want to push or pry because she had seems a little reserved. But finally she looked at me and said, Thank you for for writing this, or thank you for creating this. And I said, Did you want to copy? And she said, No, my parents don’t know. And I said, Oh, because for those listening this book is I don’t look how I feel. It is a book focusing on transgender or escaping norms, escaping the rules, as people like to call them. And she said, My parents don’t know. And I said, oh, and I said, Well, do you would you like to have it out of fear? She did not take it. But I did give her my card in case she ever wanted to, to look into it, and maybe even reach out. And so in that conversation, it was I’ve had others before, but in that particular conversation, it was very paramount how necessary something like this is for anyone beginning of that journey, that self identity journey. And I’m actually currently in the process of other books for self identity just in general.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
Another surprise was The Flag In Me actually, the original release of The Flag In Me had a X, there’s a picture of a girl playing a video game. And there’s an X in the screen, where she’s cheering because she beat a level. I did not realize and it did not occur to me that this X was reminiscent of the Confederate flag.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Sure.
Glo Rose
And I didn’t see it. And a person who wanted the book, purchased the book that happens to point that out to me, and it occurred to me how easy it can be for us to see these different shapes around us and not necessarily put things like that together. Now, again, she still liked the book, but then I had to ask other people who have bought it. Did they notice it?
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
How did they feel about that? Did that maybe give miss, a misunderstanding? So surprises were that, one, the books are needed. Absolutely. But two, to make sure I always look at the the perception that could be from my books, to make sure because they are very much meant to be non political, and very much meant to be for anyone to use and benefit from.
Sarah Noll Wilson
What, what, uh, I mean, that just speaks to why representation matters, that it speaks to it, particularly your first story. It speaks to why – it’s something that, it’s always a journey for me. Not just at work, but with the littles in my life and the people in my life is how, how do we keep showing up so we can be the safe person that somebody can say, hey, right, this is going on. And, and that is, you know, the the work you’re doing and the books you’re creating, so people can see themselves in it and feel safe enough to at least tell one other person, this is what’s going on with me. Right before we started recording, you started to talk about just the the importance of the adults, the relationship between adults and the young people in their lives. And I’m just curious, you know, like, I just want to get your thoughts on that because and actually, the something that I’ve had a lot of conversations about recently is that, one, just as people we aren’t born knowing how to be in relationship. We’re not born knowing how to have the conversations, how to hold space for somebody when they’re hurting, how to be curious when we’re, you know, like don’t want to be and, and as I’ve grown as an adult with young people in my life, my niblings, my those are my nieces and nephews. So they’re not, like my siblings, but they’re my niblings. But just how, how can I be the adults for them that I wish I would have had when I was growing up. And so I just I would love to dig into this of just, you know, what have you learned? What have you observed? What do you want people to think about that maybe they’re not thinking about if they’ve got young people in their lives?
Glo Rose
Absolutely, absolutely. I’m going to say, so I’ll share a story with you. In my book, Look I’m Mad. And even in my journal, I won’t say book, but journal, Look I’m Mad and in a journal called Mom I’m Mad and Dad I’m Mad. These are the children’s versions of books that focus on things that kids are worried about, things that kids are sad about, mad about, and happy about. But the book doesn’t actually ask them to write to the parent, it asked them to write to a person they trust.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Oh, interesting.
Glo Rose
So for all the moms out there, for all the moms out there, your child’s person may not be you. My eldest child, his person is my twin sister.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
And that is who he talks to. So sometimes – the first thing I would say, find a person that could be your child’s person, just so that they have a safe place to go. Sometimes you as a parent, you are not in the right headspace to be that person because you have to discipline them. You have to make sure they’re getting good grades, given the chores, you have to you know, sometimes saying, Please don’t break my vase. (laughs) Leave my stuff alone. I bought that snack for me!
Sarah Noll Wilson
Why are you putting your fingers in the pickles?
Glo Rose
Yes! I brought that snack for me.
Sarah Noll Wilson
I don’t have kids but I feel like that is something that would happen.
Glo Rose
That is – you’re absolutely right. Or why did the pickle end up on the floor as a coloring, coloring page? Yes. So sometimes you cannot be their person. So first things first, find their person, find somebody that they can trust. But number one, number two, just ask the questions. Just as the questions. Our kids come home, and sometimes they’re smiling in your face. And it’s like, oh, they had a great day because they’re smiling. No, they’re happy to be home. That’s the safe place.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Ah, shoot.
Glo Rose
That’s the safe place. So it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean they had a great day. It just means that they’re happy to be home. Now you, your next job is what happened? Any one question, any question. They may say, ugh (shrugs), like my child does. But as long as you’re asking, they’ll start hearing. They want to know, they’ll start hearing, okay, mom and dad want to know what my day was about. What I do? Okay, maybe I can tell them a little bit more like someone threw chocolate milk at me at lunchtime. That did happen to me as a child. Or maybe I had a fight with a friend, maybe mom or dad have a different perspective? Or maybe I need to vent. And I just don’t want mom and dad to say anything.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
So ask, the number one thing, ask the questions.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And who and for whoever the parental figures are, right?
Glo Rose
Exactly.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Like whether it’s dad, whether it’s mom and mom, dad and dad, grandparents, aunt, whoever is taking – I want to – you said two things that I want to – now I gotta slow down my brain a second.
Glo Rose
I have to do that a lot. I’m gonna be honest with you.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. The first point you made about getting curious about what, like testing your assumptions is what I heard. Test the assumption of, are they, are they smiling because they’re happy? Or are they smiling because they’re back in their happy place?
Glo Rose
Exactly.
Sarah Noll Wilson
That’s a really powerful. I mean, that’s just a good reminder for all of us is how do we test our assumptions to go, you know, to check in and not to just assume. But that other, the other thing that you were talking about before that is finding your people. Was it hard for you, as a parent, or did you ever like, did you ever struggle with that idea of not being, not always going to be their person? Because let’s you know, for a lot of people, and I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t say all, but for a lot of people, they may struggle, but then when they’re like, (inhales) I just need to look at what mom. (laughs) I mean, I’m a 42-year-old woman, and there are times where like, I just want my mom, I just need to talk to her. Was, was that ever difficult for you when you started to pay more attention to the idea of I’m not always going to be that person? And, and how do I become okay with that? Or was that something that you grew up with? Because I can imagine there are people who, that would feel like a loss to them of well, but I want them to come and talk to me, I want to be the person. But the reality is, none of us have one person, we all have lots of people we go to when we’re struggling with something.
Glo Rose
No, you’re absolutely correct. I did struggle because I want to be there for my children. I want them to know they can come and talk to me about anything. But it took my sister being my son’s person and us having a conversation for me to realize that it really – Idon’t have to be. I really don’t have to be and so my son does come to me with it with the big stuff. If there’s ever something that he just absolutely needs mom for he knows he can come to me and that’s that’s what I want him to feel. But if it’s something like, I just don’t think mom’s gonna understand this. He goes and talks to auntie and auntie keeps his confidence.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, yep.
Glo Rose
But also will just let me know, Hey, he checked in with me. He’s okay. Just understand everything is okay. And I continue. When moms and parents out there grandparents, aunties, anyone raising kids, let me tell you, you’re going to struggle with that, because you want them to come to you. You want to know what’s going on. But as long as they’re going someplace safe, especially someone you know, be cool with it. As much as you can, be cool with it. It took me a couple years, I’m going to admit, but I honestly appreciated that she was there more than me being the person.
Sarah Noll Wilson
What do you, I’m just, I’m curious, because I, I hope I’m that person. I know for a number of my niblings, I definitely am. When I get the text at one in the morning. Hey, I know it’s late. Are you up? Always.
Glo Rose
Yes!
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yep. I’m in bed babe, but what’s going on? What, and I also just really love that, make sure they have a person that they feel safe with and that you trust, is also such a great point. As a parent, you’re talking to me as the the, not supplement, that’s terrible, but but potentially somebody who might be the person? What do you, what do you want me to be thinking about? What, what do you want me to be aware of it? Not just me, Sarah, but like for people who are listening who are like, Oh, I’m definitely my nephew or nieces or nibblies? or whoever, right? My young person’s person, what do you want us to be thinking about?
Glo Rose
And I say this with love. So no one be offended when I say this. You are not mom and dad, that’s probably why you are the person.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Sure, yeah.
Glo Rose
More than anything, you – they’re not coming to you for the discipline. They’re not coming to you for the, they’re coming to you with the hard questions. But they’re not coming to you for all the stuff that mom and dad do that they don’t like. (laughter) My sister, being a parent herself, she has to switch hats whenever she’s my son’s person, because she wants to be that mom and dad. But remember, they’re coming to you because you’re not, you’re not them. So think about strictly this is your niece, this is your cousin, this is your friend, this is your friend’s child, and how could you help guide them where mom and dad just can’t right now? Just think about why they’re coming to you to begin with. And the biggest reason is you’re not mom and dad, but you’re safe. You understand?
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. And I would. And also like, the thing that I always try to keep in mind is it’s not my job to discredit, dismiss, deny what the parents are choosing, but to be curious, to listen and maybe offer perspectives because sometimes, right, I can offer a perspective of, I know, this is really frustrating. And I just something to keep in mind, especially as they get older, that’s obviously different when they’re younger. But as they get older, having that – you know – because I have, my oldest ones, you know, they’re really becoming adults now. They’re turning 21 and 19, 17. And so now we can have, they’re in that transition of Oh, Mom and Dad aren’t perfect. Mom and Dad are humans just trying to do the best they can. And holding space for that. It’s, you know, it’s – I had a really sweet moment. Ah, it just made me so happy. And I don’t mean, I’m not trying to make this about me.
Glo Rose
No, no, no. Please.
Sarah Noll Wilson
But it was just such a beautiful moment. One of my, one of my nephew’s who’s you know, middle school, we, I was home. And he goes, Hey, I’m going to ask you a question. But I haven’t done anything. And I just want you to know, and I was like, Okay, (laughs) like, what’s, what did you do? And what do I need to be prepared for? Mom and dad aren’t here and. And he said – I’m gonna get like emotional thinking about it. He goes, Can I come to you? Like, anytime I have a problem? Can I come talk to you? And I was like, always. Oh, absolutely. Always, you know, and I told him, I was like, I don’t care if it’s two in the morning. If I hear that phone and I see your number. I’ll answer. And I said, but here’s my agreement with you is that what you and I share together is confidential between you and I, unless it involves potentially harming yourself or harming someone else. Or if there’s something else that I feel your folks need to know, then you and I will figure out what that strategy is. I will not tell, you know. And then (laughs) I caught him off guard because I said, Hey, I have, I’m going to ask you a question. He was like, what? I said, Can I come to you and I have problems? Can I, can I share with you and I’m struggling and he was just like, always. Oh my god, –
Glo Rose
I love it.
Sarah Noll Wilson
And I was like, I wish I would have had that in my life. I mean, I had amazing. I had amazing adults in my life. But let’s be real though, going back to the the identities, the roles, the rules, the expectations. We were kids to be pushed aside into the other room, not to have really meaningful relationships with. When you think about your passion and mission for developing that emotional intelligence, for developing that stronger sense of identity. For being able to have that courage, perseverance to step into the world, however they need to, what have you observed and witnessed sets young people up most effectively? And not that there’s one thing to this, but what have you in your journey of thinking about this topic? What? What helps young people be able to start formulating that awareness because I’m, you know, it took me being in in my 30s going to therapy, to figure out a lot of stuff that I see my nieces and nephews, my niblings, like, like, damn, like, that’s awesome that you’re thinking about that already. That took me a lot of money in therapy to figure that out already. (laughs) Yeah, what do you see helps support that evolution, that awareness?
Glo Rose
For me, it was, like you said, it took me a long time to realize not to follow all the rules that I was taught. When I was younger, I was taught straight hair. I was taught the only type of acceptable jewelry was pearls. I was taught not more than one piercing, there’s three up here if you can tell. But I was taught a lot of –
Sarah Noll Wilson
Sorry, I’m sorry. Like, –
Glo Rose
Yes, when you think about it, you’re thinking back to, you’re hearing that stuff to, right. You know, I have, I have hair jewelry, no hair, jewelry, no color in your hair. Other than the most basic colors of like, people with redhead, red hair, brown hair, blonde hair. Um, so I was into my 30s when I finally realized – I just, I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I was seeing because all of that was the rules. And finally, after a while of asking myself, What do I want to see when I look in the mirror ? What would make me smile when I look in the mirror. And so before I knew it, I have locks in my hair. I have three piercings in my ear. I have different colors in my hair. Last year, it was blue, this year supposed to be purple. Right now. It’s this kind of off purplish white. And the biggest thing is, especially in my book that says I Don’t
Like How I Feel, or I Don’t Look How I Feel is when you look in the mirror is that the person you want to show the world. That’s the biggest thing. And a lot of our kids in this generation they see on commercials, they see on TV they see in social media people that do not look like the rules that we grew up with. So I always ask, when you’re in the mirror, who do you want to see? Does this person make you smile? I could never go back to long hair, long, straight hair again, I will keep my locs forever because I like the person I see when I look in the mirror. Our kids come to realize that a lot quicker than we did. And so like my son, he loves his curly hair. I want him to wear it a certain way. He says no one and wants to wants to keep me very curly. So but that’s him. So I say okay, that’s who you like, when you look in the mirror, keep your hair the way you want it.
Sarah Noll Wilson
You know, I – What a gift. What a gift that question is. That’s definitely going to be – when whenever I wrap up after you leave, I always share like well here’s something I’m sitting with. That is one I’m going to be sitting with. Because I’m on that journey of how do I really like who I am, what I look like and as you get older and as your body changes and as your – yeah, just your experience change and I really love that question, What would make me smile when I look in the mirror?
Glo Rose
Exactly.
Sarah Noll Wilson
What a gift and – yeah, I want to pause on that one. And, and the other thing, the question that popped up – you know and this is a bit of a trap actually, of a question but, and what would make me feel really good, but making sure that feeling good isn’t what does culture expect. That I need to be really thin, that I need to be, have a six pack, that I need to wear a lot of makeup. I don’t wear makeup. It’s not that I don’t. But I don’t love it and I do it when I have to and you know like (laughs) I like my sparkles in my hair. Although I did just get it colored so like we tried to give them friends but they kind of got covered up, we’ll get them back. But your point about young people and again this is, they obviously have different pressures than we did. I can’t imagine growing up on social media. So it’s like it’s it’s a two sided coin right? On one hand they’re seeing way more diversity, way more representation, way more possibilities of what it can look like to be a human in this world. But then the flip side is the system is still the system that prioritizes – let’s just call it what it is. Prioritizes a white looking person, right? The straight hair the, you know, conservative, modest, right like modesty is – depending depending on where you live.
Glo Rose
Oh yes, oh yes.
Sarah Noll Wilson
I’m speaking, right, Midwest. Midwest, modest, fitting in, looking like everyone else. Whereas if you go to New York like oh yeah, great, like everyone’s doing their own thing. It makes me think of, I got schooled by my niece once. And it was so, it was beautiful and a little painful.
Glo Rose
(laughs) Interactions with kids are.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, you bet. I mean, like painful for me. So I, I, I had taken her to New York. And that was one of my things. As an aunt, I, we’re childless by choice. And as we grow in our success, I want to share that and I want to give experiences that I never had. And I also want time with them. And so she was the first one. So I said, okay, like, anywhere, here’s our budget. (laughs) And she’s like, we’re going to New York. So we, we just shopped at thrift stores one of the days and she she bought this adorable black hat. And she was, she looked good. But so we’re going out that night. I don’t know, walk around, go to McDonald’s, or whatever we were doing. And she kept looking at herself in the mirror and just smiling. And I, conditioned, I was like, “You still look good. Olivia. You don’t need to keep checking it.” And she said, like, which I hate that I said that. But that’s what came out of my mouth. So I own that. She goes, “Would you rather I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw?” I was like, oh shit.
Glo Rose
Yes. Okay.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Okay, that. Like, I’m like, I need to embrace this. So I love that gift of, what would make me smile when I look in the mirror? That’s so beautiful Glo. Mm, that’s so beautiful.
Glo Rose
Well, I mean, just like what do we want to present when we walk out the door too. I mean, like, I have a mirror that sits in my living room. And I am not the typical – for anyone who’s looking at the video. You see, there’s a lot of going on over here. But I’m also not the typical – I’m not a skinny. Um, I do not wear makeup. I, like you, I have a little bit of lip gloss today. That’s about it. That’s as far as I go.
Sarah Noll Wilson
I might rub my lips just to give it some color. So it looks better on camera, but yeah. (laughs)
Glo Rose
I go outside, I am in probably somewhat baggier clothes or looser clothes, I don’t wear a lot of tight. So I don’t I don’t do kind of what people say I should to fit in. But when I walk out the door, the mirror is there. So I went if I look, and I’m smiling, when I’m presenting is good, what I’m presenting is fantastic. And so that’s the biggest thing that my books are meant to inspire. When you look in that mirror, when you think of yourself, are you smiling?
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
Are you happy? And if you’re not happy, that’s okay. That’s okay. What can you do to maybe get to that point? So I’m not always at that point.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. Or be present with it. Right?
Glo Rose
Right.
Sarah Noll Wilson
I mean, because certainly in American culture, we we chase this positivity and this happiness instead of right, like, you know, I love the title of the one book that you have, which is like I’m Mad, and how do we be present with it? And how do we process it? So we can navigate through it, not deny it, dismiss it. What? What do you wish? You know, when you think about the work you’re doing, when you think about what you’re creating, when you think about the moments that you created, like with the young person who said, Thanks for writing in this, my parents don’t know, what is it that you wish that your work will – what impact do you want your work to have?
Glo Rose
Above all, I want our kids to have a way to say what they are having trouble saying. I want them to have either the words or the tools to work through it. And I want them to understand that what they’re feeling is more than valid, they don’t have to feel the way their parents want them to feel. They don’t have to feel the way their friends want them to feel. It is about how they feel. And if they don’t like it, do they need to do something to change it? Maybe not, maybe they don’t. But being themselves and being happy in themselves enough to live the life they want, feel the way they want, be who they want without worrying about this person’s thoughts, that person’s thoughts. That’s what I think is really, really hurting our world right now. Too many people are focusing on other outside influences instead of themselves. If I’m hurting, I need to say that and ask someone to help me work through it. If I’m happy, great. If I’m not, what can I change to get to the point where I’m okay. Maybe not happy but okay. Yeah. I want the impact to be straightforward. Do you need help? How can you get it? Where should you go? How do you feel good again?
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. That’s I mean, so, so beautifully said and it’s, you know, as you and I were talking before even getting on it’s not just our young people who need that. We need that. How do we you know, and again, just speaking again from like an American culture perspective. And like a white dominant culture perspective, it’s very much like in the workplace, you leave your emotions at the door. We are going to not experience our whole selves as humans and we, we’re walking bags of emotions.
Glo Rose
(laughs) Yes.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Bags of bones of emotions and, and denying them doesn’t make them go away. At some point they erupt if we aren’t able to be present and again, (chuckles) I, I think I’m thinking of my, my poor – well, another nibling story where I’m just like, okay, damn, like you just schooled me. (laughter) You know, young one, he was climbing up some climbing wall, actually at the Iowa State Fair. I was like, yeah, go get it, buddy, whatever. And when he came down, he said, Thank you for cheering me on. It actually stresses me out when you do that. So can you not do that until I get down? And I was like, again, there was a part of me it’s like, what? What do you do? Like I’m going to cheer – no, actually, this is how we, this is how we can be our best selves. And this is what it looks like to set you know, boundaries of here’s what I need. And or here’s how it makes me feel and not dismissing it, not denying it, not discrediting it. Not saying like, well suck it up, buddy, or like tough I’m going to cheer you on. Because I think so often, that’s how adults treat children. And and I say that as sometimes I have that impulse to be like, who are you telling? And then it’s just like, Oh, where’d, where did that come from? Why was that my – why do I have to? Why do I, as an adult, have to work through that reaction to then be present with this kid who’s a hell of a lot more emotionally aware than I was? And am still.
Glo Rose
No, you literally hit the nail on the head. Um, one of the – suck it up, buttercup, part of my childhood, um, don’t get it twisted. My family was amazing. I have amazing and supportive family around me but a different time.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, yeah.
Glo Rose
So sometimes – be seen not heard was another one. But I love that you’re and I’m gonna borrow your your word for a moment, your niblings are so vocal. And that’s what more and more kids need. They need to be able to say that and the person receiving the information needs to be receptive enough to say, I see your point.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
we’re changing a little bit of a dynamic here. Because the very same people who were brought up the way we were, seen and not heard or suck it up, buttercup.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, respect your elders.
Glo Rose
Respect your elders. But while some of that may still be slightly true, it also needs to be, no, you need to hear me. And then let’s establish this respect together. No, no, I don’t need this. This. This particular thing was traumatizing enough. I will need to suck this up. I’ll share a story. And unfortunately, we will discuss Perry for a moment.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, sure. And just for context, well, I don’t know if you’ll explain it. Do you want to explain the context of Perry? Because there will be a small percentage of people who will know what we’re referencing.
Glo Rose
I can explain. Unfortunately, there was a school shooting in Perry, Iowa recently. And to the very first week of this year. And the reason I bring this up is because that very same day, my son had a friend who had transferred to that school. Thankfully, thankfully, his friend is fine. His friend is okay. He reached out to her, she’s fine. But the reason I bring that up is because he was so upset about what happened, he actually went to his guidance counselor at the school. And the guidance counselor called me and I came up there and I talked to him. The reason that I bring that up is because when I was growing up, someone might have said, well, it wasn’t at your school. So you’re okay. Or someone would have said something to the effect of suck it up, buttercup, we’ll talk when we get home.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
But the fact that he was expressing his feelings about that, as parents, as adults, we need to say, Okay, let me be there for you. Because some situations, I don’t want to take out the trash. Okay, that might be, no, suck it up, go take out the trash. But other situations, –
Sarah Noll Wilson
I don’t want to take out the trash either, buddy. But – (laughter)
Glo Rose
Right, that’s why I’m asking you to do. No, I’m just kidding. (laughter) But weigh the situation, weigh what is wrong, and then determine what is the reaction to this? Don’t, lets not snap, lets not snap reaction. Weigh it, see if this is something that’s maybe a little bit more damaging, internally damaging? ,
Sarah Noll Wilson
Well and that ties into we recorded an episode earlier with Erica Reed, who’s a specialist in trauma informed leadership and we actually recorded it the day of the shooting.
Glo Rose
Oh no.
Sarah Noll Wilson
And one of the things that we talked about, is the fact that it doesn’t have to happen to us, for us to be impacted by it. And I loved her language. Pain is pain regardless of what triggered it.
Glo Rose
Exactly.
Sarah Noll Wilson
And you know, and the thing that continues to become clear in our conversation is we cannot show up for our young people if we don’t know how to show up for ourselves in that moment. If we don’t know how to do our own work as adults to say, what do I need? What rules and roles do I need to maybe shed for myself? How do I be present with my emotions? How do I sit with the hurt and the pain and the happiness and the joy? And all of that. And to validate it. And and – and, you know, I had a couple of thoughts go through my head. So one, one is, I mean, honestly, this is something I’m really passionate about is how do we have conversations that matter? It’s kind of the language I’m playing with, but like, how do we show up for people? We don’t have to fix people. We don’t need to explain away. You know, there could be power in, you know, this is actually like a coaching technique we use for adults to adults, but of saying, I can see why you’re worried right now. Let me share with you why I’m not concerned. But I want to honor why you’re concerned, right, and just validating people’s emotions. Like it’s so fascinating how it’s pretty simple micro things we can do to help somebody feel safe and seen. But we just don’t do it. Because it’s not again, we’re not born with those muscles. And we have to, we have to build it. And so like, as you’re sharing the story about your son, I mean, props to you, Mama and his support team, that he knew that he could speak what normally would go unspoken. That he knew he could feel safe with that guidance counselor. And yeah, I just want to give props to you and credit for you for creating the conditions where that was, okay. And also so important for our young men, or young boys to understand that. And, you know, because society again, speaking of American culture is very much boys don’t cry. You know, and I know, in talking with my, my friends who are black men in particular, they’re like, you know, men can express like, white guys can express anger, but I can’t even express anger, like there’s such a finite amount of emotions that is like acceptable for me to be able to express and so how critical it is to support all of our young children, but especially our boys.
Glo Rose
Absolutely.
Sarah Noll Wilson
You know,
Absolutely. I didn’t realize this, and let me make this clear, when you see my books, it will look intentional. But I’m, I’m a boy mom, I have nothing but boy children. And so most of my books are young men, young boys. But the part of the other reason for that is because as you said, our boys are taught, you know, be tough, be protective, be, you know, gruff, do not share these emotions. Do not let them get to you, just work through them. Or excuse me, just bypass them altogether.
Yeah, not even work through them.
Glo Rose
Right.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Suck it up. Right. Like really like, you don’t cry. That’s weakness.
Glo Rose
But the world that we live in, they need to, they need to acknowledge what they feel. And they need to work through them. And it was interesting, because as you stated with our, with our parents, the opposite side of the books Look I’m Mad, Mom I’m Mad, Dad I’m Mad, is that Well Me Too, Mom Is Mad, Dad Is Mad.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
And the reason for those books is because as parents, we, as you stated, we sometimes don’t acknowledge the very things we’re worried about. We see our young child go out of the house, maybe dressed in something that’s inappropriate. We’re worried for a very specific reason.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
They don’t know that.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. Yeah. We have perspective that’s different. It’s just different perspective. It’s not better, it’s just different.
Glo Rose
Exactly. And the way to open up those, those lines of communication is to identify it, talk about it, maybe come to a middle ground and understand each other’s perspective. So as adults, those books are actually encouraged to adults, specifically to understand why they may be feeling the way they’re feeling towards their kids and what they’re experiencing with them.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Or what’s happening in the world. And in that that is something that is such a continued opportunity is the language. I’m still working, Nick and I talk about this. Just what’s the language to more effectively describe how am I actually feeling. Because it’s more than sad, mad, you know, I mean, obviously, when you’re little you’re trying to – but it’s, I feel, I feel defeated, I feel embarrassed, I feel overwhelmed, I feel and just being able to articulate that and be present with it. And then again, when we can be present with that, that does help us process through it better. Like the research is so conclusive on that, that people who can be present with their emotions process it faster than people who ignore it. Glo, you’re such a treat. You’re such, this was such a gift. You know, what else I was thinking is, you know, imagining you looking at your mirror and going like, yeah, like what I see. Like that’s why, that’s your energy was so compelling in this sea of hundreds and hundreds of vendors. I was like, oh right, yeah, that was part of the attraction. Like that’s part of the pause of who are you and what is this about was also how you showed up.
Glo Rose
When I say that this is a passion, I mean, this is a passion, I’m talking two o’clock in the morning, my kids are asleep, I’m still working on a project or an idea just pops into my head. And now, anytime I’m not at work or not with my children, or not with my husband, I am working on this next project. So a passion, just to say, just to help one more person, one more kid or one more adults, look in the mirror and smile, or be present in their feelings enough to work through them healthily. Again, as you ask, what is my my hope for all of this? That is the basic foundation of the entire thing.
Sarah Noll Wilson
I love that.
Glo Rose
I love doing this. I’m just gonna keep on going. My next book, as you stated, sometimes it’s not happy, mad, worried, sad. My next book is called Middle Ground. And it talks up, it’s an activity book for kids who are in the first grade to, I’m gonna say, about fifth or sixth grade area, but it covers frustrated, covers overwhelmed, covers shy, covers introvert, extrovert. It goes into a lot more emotions than just the basic four. And that’s because again, we have to be able to say this is the one I’m feeling today. Good or bad.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah.
Glo Rose
Do I need to do anything with it? Do I need to work with it? Or is it okay to just be there today?
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah, yeah.
Glo Rose
And it is.
Sarah Noll Wilson
I love it. I love it. Okay, since this is the first time you are on our show, I want to ask you the question we ask everybody. And then we’ll talk about where people can find your books, how they can support you, and all of that fun stuff. So Glo, what is the conversation you’ve had with yourself or with someone else that transformed you or was transformative?
Glo Rose
I’ll talk to a conversation I had with my husband a couple years ago. I was not in a good place. I was in a very, very, very dark place. And anyone who knows dark places, it’s where you do look in the mirror and nothing syncs up with you mentally, you cannot smile at that person. The light is out of the eyes, the energy is gone. It’s before Glo Rose Books. And my husband happened to finally say one day, you’re not you right now. And I said, What do you mean, I’m right here, I’m, I’m me. I’m doing everything. He’s like, no, no, you’re just, you’re going to the job. You are, you know, helping me around the house. You’re with the kids. But something is missing. There’s something not there. And when he said this, at first, I was like, Well, who are you? Who are you? You don’t know me! Who are you to talk?
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. Yeah.
Glo Rose
But then one night, I found myself very late at night, and I happened to realize he was right. I wasn’t here. I was here, but I was not present. I was not in my person, in my place. And so I decided to get some help. And I decided to reevaluate some things. And after that, I started making some changes. That’s kind of where these changes about, like my earrings, these changes about my hair, these changes about what I wear. A lot of that came out of that conversation, but it was so – it was a crucial moment. Because I could have either gone to the left and continue to think to myself, Well, I’m just fine. He’s just wrong. Or I could have gone to the right, which is where I went and said, Maybe I need to check myself, check in with myself. Maybe I need to see what’s really, what’s the foundation, what’s really going on and speak to someone who might be able to help me understand where am i, where I’m lost? So that’s the conversation that really, really turned things around for me.
I love it.
It was definitely – I appreciate somebody loved me enough to say I think something’s not right.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Yeah. Yeah. And then you know, and you loved yourself enough to go, yeah, and not – what a gift, you know, just that check in of, Am I me right now? And am I, am I good with that? And am I? And can I, to use your language and go full circle, when I look in the mirror do I smile? Glo Rose, it has been – what a delightful gift this conversation has been. And we need to make sure that we promote your work. And so where is the best place for people who want to purchase your books and support your work? Where’s the best place for people to find you?
Glo Rose
The best places my website Glo Rose Books.com. And that is G L O R O S E B O O K S dot com. The all of the books are located on the website and they actually link out to their Amazon components, which if you’re an Amazon Prime member, no shipping, so (laughte) that works and a lot of people love that they love that. But yes, if you go to my website, it’ll tell you some information about my site. It’ll tell you some information about my passion, and also just opportunities for you to check out more and more books that are coming in the future, especially this year. I have quite a few projects. So very exciting.
Sarah Noll Wilson
And we’ll put all of that in the show notes. And again, just like when we say Glo, it’s not g l o w it’s G L O Rose Books and we’ll put that in the show notes. And what we want to do is we want to support your work. So we are going to buy a minimum of 10 but honestly like, I don’t know, as many people who reach out, and what we’ll do is we will coordinate with you Glo to have you sign the books and we’ll send it out to people. So the way you can get a copy of Glo’s book courtesy of us in the show is to send an email to podcast @ Sarah Noll Wilson.com. And here’s what I will say, often, we have listeners who find us later, if you’re listening to the six months later, send us an email, right, don’t assume that we have fulfilled our orders. Assume that we haven’t because we want to support your work. The other thing that I’ll say is, if you have somebody, if you have an organization that you want to provide some of the books that Glo has written and created, we would love to support that work as well. And we are happy to ship off to your organization of choice. So please reach out to us and let’s make this happen. You, I mean, you’re just an absolute gift. And I want nothing but the best for you and your work. And so you can keep doing what you’re doing and making the impact you’re making because it is so needed. So thank you so much for saying yes to this strange person who stopped you and said, I just want you on the show. Like I want you on the show. We got to figure this out. So thank you.
Glo Rose
Well, I want to thank you for having me. This has been amazing. Even in these conversations I learned so much about myself too. So thank you so much. But all the success in this year and all your future shows and all your next guests. Thank you so much, Sarah.
Sarah Noll Wilson
Thank you.
Our guest this week has been Glo Rose. And I just love when you meet somebody, and there’s an energy and you just know your paths are supposed to cross. And there’s a number of things that I’m holding on to. I really love that, that comment that she caught herself of don’t check yourself, check in with yourself. Gosh, that’s beautiful. But the one that I’m going to work on every single day is when I look in the mirror, am I looking at somebody that makes me smile? And what does that look like for me not what society expects. So beautiful, so beautiful. And we want to hear from you. We really do. We love you, our listeners. We’d love hearing what resonates for you. We’d love hearing what questions come up, what else you want us to explore. So my DMs are always open on social media, though I’m most active on LinkedIn. And you can send us a direct email at podcast @ SarahNollWilson.com. And just so you know, that doesn’t even go to a team, that goes to me. I’m the one who reads those emails. So please reach out. Let us know what resonated for you what came up for you. And if you’re interested in getting a copy of one of her books that is signed or sent to an organization that you are passionate about. That is how you will do that podcast @ SarahNollWilson.com. Please consider becoming a patron. You can find us at patreon.com/conversations on conversations where not only you will be helping support the team that makes this show possible. But you’ll also get access to early ad free episodes, as well as exclusive swag. And if you haven’t, please be sure to rate, review and subscribe to the show on your preferred podcast platform.
I want to give a huge shout out to the team that makes this show possible week after week. To our producer Nick Wilson, our sound editor Drew Noll, our transcriptionist Becky Reinert, our marketing consultant Jessica Burdg, and the rest of the SNoWCo crew. Thank you. And just a final thank you to Glo Rose for taking a chance on this stranger (laughs) who walked past her booth for the work that she’s doing and the impact she is making and will continue to make it just – what a gift. This has been Conversations on Conversations. Thank you all so much for listening, for showing up with us for yourself. We appreciate you more than you know. And remember, when we can change the conversations we have with ourselves and others, we can change the world. So till next time, rest, rehydrate and we’ll see you again soon.
Sarah Noll Wilson is on a mission to help leaders build and rebuild teams. She aims to empower leaders to understand and honor the beautiful complexity of the humans they serve. Through her work as an Executive Coach, an in-demand Keynote Speaker, Researcher, Contributor to Harvard Business Review, and Bestselling Author of “Don’t Feed the Elephants”, Sarah helps leaders close the gap between what they intend to do and the actual impact they make. She hosts the podcast “Conversations on Conversations”, is certified in Co-Active Coaching and Conversational Intelligence, and is a frequent guest lecturer at universities. In addition to her work with organizations, Sarah is a passionate advocate for mental health.